52nd. Stroke

‎ This morning I woke up a little early and read a bit before getting ready for my day. The book I was reading reminded me of something I used to do which was to list some positive quality's about myself. I thought it was interesting because somebody else had just mentioned doing this the other day. I have decided to take it one step farther. I wrote these things down, folded up the paper and put it in my pocket so whenever I forget what it is I will read it again.

51st. Stroke

‎ “Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.” ~Gloria Naylor

50th. Stroke

‎ I feel bad today. I missed my family get together because I have phobias of so many different things. Being around people and having to explain my life scares me. I always feel like I am going to ruin other peoples good time. I just want to be alone.

49th. Stroke

‎I am noticing how more people seem to be trying to be more racially and ethnically aware these days. It also seems that people are becoming more accepting of peoples sexual preferences. These are all serious issues and I think it is great that we can evolve in a positive manner. What I don't think enough people are recognizing
which effects all of us in one way or another is mental illness.
Weather it be minor or severe everybody knows someone (maybe themselves) who suffers from a mental illness. And we really do suffer. So if you know someone consider that if their struggling and if it's you don't be to hard on yourself.

48th. Stroke

I got extremely upset multiple times today. White is the color that I choose to represent the way I feel when I become so consumed by anger that I allow it to alter my whole day.

47th. Stroke

Today's stroke is yellow oxide. My recently down mood and my cold seem to have gone away. I also heard that we are suppose to have a bunch of nice days in a row. These things are good and I am okay.

46th. Stroke

I was feeling down for the first part of the day but I think it was a natural reaction to days of rain and grayness. I need to soak in some sun to feel normal. This evening however has been enjoyable. I worked on a couple art projects and now I have five very talented musicians sitting behind me playing some great blues. So blue it is.

45th. Stroke

I know plenty of people are out there dealing with the same stuff as me and even more have dealt with much worse. I've grown up with people that have had their ups and downs like anybody else. I have a few good friends that have gone through hell and came out okay so I know I can make it through whatever comes my way.

44th. Stroke

‎The color was requested by Catilyn and I am dedicating it as a big hug to her and Brandon for hanging out w/me all day and for how proud and happy they make me feel. And thank you also to Naomi, Christie and Tyler for making it possible.

43rd. Stroke

Today's light green stroke represents the need for more summer and where I am the leaves on some of the trees are already changing.

42nd. Stroke

There is a peaceful lily pond where I live. I often sit there and read or just relax. The flowers burst in color all over. I sat next to this same pond when I was little and trying figure things out. This is a special place to me. -Josh

41st.Stroke

Today I choose pink to represent that cloud that is going to magically appear making all our problems go away.

40th. Stroke

I've been feeling like things have been going in circles lately and not getting anywhere so I did a stroke to represent that. Funny thing is that by making a circle my painting got somewhere.

39th. Stroke

I have officially caught a summer cold. I spent the whole day in bed. It figures that the weather was perfect. Anyway I actually don't feel depressed like I had over the past week or so. Today's color is cadmium red light hue. No reason I just thought it would look good. -Josh

38th. Stroke

My day was average. I thought up some cool ideas that excite me but I've been known to do that. Can't ever give up or that's when it's about to be your time and the next schmuck gets it instead. The color is red oxide.

37th. Stroke

It's gray outside so I figured that light blue would be a good color for today. Hopefully the rain and my depression will soon go away.

36th. Stroke

Today I decided to do a light purple along side yesterdays dark. I am going to do my best to lighten the colors and my self up a bit. -Josh

35th. Stroke

Friday the13th. I heard #13 is suppose to be lucky for us Irish people but I feel as though I still remain stuck in a rut. The color is a request and does not reflect my mood. -Josh

34th. Stroke

Today the color is yellow. This was suggested by an old friend who was trying to cheer me up a bit last night. She made me laugh and smile and that means allot to me . It's nice to talk to people from my past. I think they where put in my life for a reason and all possess a little piece of who I am. -Joshua

33rd. Stroke

I am depressed today and not that interested in doing this but the project must go on. I hope anyone reading this feels better than I do right now. 333 left -Josh

32nd. Stroke

Today's color is black. I Had a good day today at work and got along with everyone fine. The mistake I made was calling my father after work to check on how he was doing. There is nobody else on the planet who can make me feel as bad about myself as him and he succeeded again. -Josh

31st. Stroke

Today's stroke color aqua makes me think about water. It's been so hot today that I can only think of water. My mood has been fine today. -Josh

30th Stroke

I did allot of reading today. I seem to often be part way through three books lately. Anyway at least one of them is always on spiritual practice of some sort mostly Buddhism related. So far these ideas have made the most sense to me. To me this project is just like one one of these ideas. -Josh

29th. Stroke

"Who are you?" said the Caterpillar. Alice replied, rather shyly. " I-I hardly know, Sir, just at present-at least I know who I was this morning, but I must have changed several times since then."
~Lewis Carroll

This is how I felt today and on many others. Hopefully, like Alice I'll get this figured out.

28th. Stroke

I feel like I have made a big accomplishment today reaching 12 months of sobriety. It makes me feel like anything is possible for me or anyone else. Today's stroke represents all the ups and downs over the last year by sharing all the colors together. ~Joshua

27th. Stroke

The stroke, a bright orange hue is in appreciation of someone that makes me smile every time I see him who happens to favor this color.

I am in a good mood. I had a long and very enjoyable instant message conversation with a good friend about everything from relationships to laughing in our sleep. You forget how powerful laughter really is until you just feel it trumping your emotions and monopolizing your thoughts leaving you silly and senseless for a moment. Well I remember now and it's great. ~Josh

26th. Stroke

‎ Today's color is a dark red. I am dedicating this stroke to my son Brandon who came to visit earlier. We had a great day and that is all I have to say. Thank you. ~Joshua

25th. Stroke

I have been thinking allot about music today. As I was on my way to breakfast this morning birds sang in all the trees as they did their morning routine. There was singing and guitar at the meeting after breakfast. Then later in my room I was playing a CD while I was painting. Where I live are many talented artists, singers and musicians so I guess I don't always notice this all around me. I find it amazing how much it influences my life. There is someone playing the piano about 15ft. away from me as I'm making this entree. If your not feeling good or you're to tense just play the right music and breathe. (Today's color is red oxide) ~Joshua