I have a subject today. Tension. I feel it off people and it stresses out my whole system. I don't know why it bothers me so much (well I have some ideas) but often it will alter the course of my mood completely. I have PTSD so banging and yelling definitely set this off but I'm talking about just the feeling in the air. I must be over sensitive or just paranoid. I guess regardless of why it happens It isn't comfortable. I would like to know if anyone has advice or different methods that they know of or use that they would like to share with me. Thank you -Josh
It was nice out today.I talked to my dad for the first time in a while and that went well. He sounded busy. I'm feeling lethargic today and that's not a sign. The full moon tomorrow could be messing with me.
I'm having a hard time thinking about explaining my mental illness to my kids. I don't know if they would even understand. I don't know if it would make them unnecessarily worried. I just keep thinking about it and weather they know or not it is effecting them everyday. So I guess I need to find the best way of going about this. -J
Today started out pretty ruff for me. I had two bad interactions before a cup of coffee. I don't see how there could actually be some other kind. I've seen civilized folks in a long line at the coffee shop see someone in front of them take a couple extra seconds and you would think there was a bear separated from it's cubs. People who drink it know what I'm saying and people who don't will probably find out. The rest of my day was fine.
Half a week already gone bye. Today I have more energy than yesterday. I worked inside the wood shop all day fixing chairs. I had allot of meetings today. The meetings are fine I just wish they weren't all in one day. It seems like every time I start getting into my work I have to stop and get to the meeting causing myself unnecessary stress. I am going to reorganize my Wednesdays. Life to me seems like a series of little fixes.
The first day of a new month and I'm ready to hit the sack. When I don't get enough sleep you can throw any one of these great plans of mine out the window.
Today's stroke is yellow oxide. My recently down mood and my cold seem to have gone away. I also heard that we are suppose to have a bunch of nice days in a row. These things are good and I am okay.
I've been feeling like things have been going in circles lately and not getting anywhere so I did a stroke to represent that. Funny thing is that by making a circle my painting got somewhere.
I am depressed today and not that interested in doing this but the project must go on. I hope anyone reading this feels better than I do right now. 333 left -Josh
Today's color is a dark red. I am dedicating this stroke to my son Brandon who came to visit earlier. We had a great day and that is all I have to say. Thank you. ~Joshua
