78th Stroke

I was happy to be able to have a showing of my project today in front of a live get together of musicians, writers and artists. I displayed nice colorful prints from different segments of the paintings progression and hung the original behind where the other people where performing. This made me nervous at first but a lot of people seemed to like it and it's meaning and that made me feel good.

71st. Stroke

Today was a beautiful day weather wise but stormy within. I try to have some kind of strategies in place for different things that can come up over the day. The problem is some of these things that present themselves feel like they cause a chemical reaction rather than just a emotional one and my good planning is out the window. This causes me to be scared, embarrassed, angry, depressed and even sometimes over happy (like I just don't care). Today instead of dealing w/one or two of those things (which is about my average) I went through all of them and am dealing w/some paranoia right now.

64th. Post

Well today I put a huge red stroke representing my excitement for a couple of reasons. Firstly because I allowed myself to go beyond my comfort zone which has been a problem lately. Secondly by doing this I was able to hang out with some of my family and go to the museum for the day. I got to see Picasso and Degas exhibit along w/many other artist's paintings and sculptures. What more can I say. It was a great day.

I apologize for not having a picture for you at the moment. The upload is not working. You can view it however at -Josh

(http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=362598&l=ec71d6158d&id=100000604984444)

57th. Stroke

‎Habits is my subject for today and the reason is because I am subjecting myself to trying to quit smoking. Yet again. I have been exercising more and more and developing other good habits as well and there just isn't any room left for it. This is a little early in the game to talk about it but the truth is I can't think of much else.

50th. Stroke

‎ I feel bad today. I missed my family get together because I have phobias of so many different things. Being around people and having to explain my life scares me. I always feel like I am going to ruin other peoples good time. I just want to be alone.

43rd. Stroke

Today's light green stroke represents the need for more summer and where I am the leaves on some of the trees are already changing.

36th. Stroke

Today I decided to do a light purple along side yesterdays dark. I am going to do my best to lighten the colors and my self up a bit. -Josh

29th. Stroke

"Who are you?" said the Caterpillar. Alice replied, rather shyly. " I-I hardly know, Sir, just at present-at least I know who I was this morning, but I must have changed several times since then."
~Lewis Carroll

This is how I felt today and on many others. Hopefully, like Alice I'll get this figured out.

22nd. Stroke

Today I have used a very dark blue. This color represents my worst times. The times when I'm feeling helpless and hopeless. I was reading something earlier today in a book about Bruce Lee and he was talking about water and it's adaptability. He was saying "when punched, it does not bruise ~when stabbed, it does not get cut ~it is so soft you can't even hold it in your hand ~yet if it wants it is unstoppable" He was talking about this for fighting purposes. I started thinking about the possibility of making my reactions to these awful and destructive feelings adaptable like water as apposed to coming up with one strategy that might work half the time. After all wouldn't this be a self defense that defends your true self.

15th. Stroke

Over the last year I have been trying various new things. This project is a big step for me in that way. I keep discovering things I never knew I liked and getting to know myself better everyday. The truth is so many people (including myself) get concerned with other people's opinions and don't just try things, that they miss out on so much in life. The fact of the matter is that it doesn't matter to those who actually matter. Today's color burnt sienna was suggested by someone who is always around to talk and remind me to breath. Thank you. -Josh

8th. Stoke

Even though I already know this it catches me off guard every time. When I'm waiting for something I am excited about it takes for ever to happen and then as soon as it happens it seems like it's over. Today I used yellow oxide. I had a exciting day but tonight I am feeling a little depressed. I feel like this color goes with any of the others so I found it appropriate. -Josh