77th. Stroke

I got to start this morning with a CAT scan at 8:30. Then I had meetings for the afternoon. It aggravates me that I go for these tests but then I have to wait for the Dr. to tell me about them later. This evening was nice. I was able to hang out with my mom. I really need to get some sleep.

70th. Stroke

I would consider my life pretty good right now and I'm actively working on ways to make it better. If you have been following this blog you know that when I discover a useful tool in my life I like to share it. I am having a bit of a dilemma. Recently I have changed allot of things in my life and I have so many things I want to do now. I have a consistent work schedule and then all these other things. I don't know. Anyway I will figure it out.

63rd. Stroke

I had a great day today. I guess I was just in the right frame of mind. It even seemed like a couple things where thrown my way to test it. Even though they where things that normally would have made me react I didn't skip a beat. I like to write in the morning and this morning I wrote a list of ten things I'm grateful for. You should try it.

56th. Stroke

Today I had a great day. I hang out with very few people and most of the time just
myself. For a few months now some people I know have been asking me to play soft ball and soccer w/them once a week. This week I
did both. They where some of the most fun things I've done in a long time. I am grateful for these people being put in my life. The red/orange color is dedicated to the positive force of energy that I am
feeling.

49th. Stroke

‎I am noticing how more people seem to be trying to be more racially and ethnically aware these days. It also seems that people are becoming more accepting of peoples sexual preferences. These are all serious issues and I think it is great that we can evolve in a positive manner. What I don't think enough people are recognizing
which effects all of us in one way or another is mental illness.
Weather it be minor or severe everybody knows someone (maybe themselves) who suffers from a mental illness. And we really do suffer. So if you know someone consider that if their struggling and if it's you don't be to hard on yourself.

42nd. Stroke

There is a peaceful lily pond where I live. I often sit there and read or just relax. The flowers burst in color all over. I sat next to this same pond when I was little and trying figure things out. This is a special place to me. -Josh

35th. Stroke

Friday the13th. I heard #13 is suppose to be lucky for us Irish people but I feel as though I still remain stuck in a rut. The color is a request and does not reflect my mood. -Josh

28th. Stroke

I feel like I have made a big accomplishment today reaching 12 months of sobriety. It makes me feel like anything is possible for me or anyone else. Today's stroke represents all the ups and downs over the last year by sharing all the colors together. ~Joshua

21st. Stroke

"My emotions are faster than my thoughts". This is what I have been told. I have discussed many strategies and read about many more. The things I have learned for sure are that there's to many factors involved for me to find one that works so I will either have to learn them all or give up. This is why I believe the only real way for me to handle this is to completely change the way I see things. Without that it will always be an illusion that the problem solved. The crimson stroke for today represents the way my emotions can surround and dominate any thoughts.

14th. Stroke

Today's color is gold. It is hard to see from my photo but in the actual painting it glistens. For now you will have to take my word for it. Trust is one of my major issues. If you told me to take your word for something I would question it even more. What I am really going through is fear. Am I really going to give my mind over to somebody so they can paint a picture for me to look at like a blue print so I can get better. How do I know they won't make a mistake and it won't just come crashing down? How do I know what their motives are? I don't. Today's color is gold and it glistens. -Josh

7th. Stroke

Today I went with burnt orange because I feel burnt out from this past week and I thought we could use a little orange in our picture. That is all I got for today. As always I invite you to comment on picture or anything else that's on your mind.